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Post by Mello on Jun 22, 2010 10:25:34 GMT -5
Who: Ranen and anyone else who might happen along What: Just hanging out When: a little after noon Where: Great Hall Warnings: nope The lunch rush had just gone through, and the Hall had slowly emptied to about half full. At a small table against the wall, Ranen sat by himself, watching the people all around him. It was a kind of game, actually. Something he had started doing when he had first arrived at Southern. He had felt lost those first days, overwhelmed and out of place. He had been taken out of his family Hold and dropped somewhere so completely different for the first time in his life. It was as if he was trying to play a game, but no one had told him the rules. At first he had almost given in to the homesickness, and there were several times he had to fight back the urge to go find the rider who had brought him to this strange place and take him back, back to where everything made sense and he knew how things worked. But he had pushed those feelings aside, reminding himself why he was there. Ranen decided that he would learn to fit in, teach himself the rules. So he began spending a large portion of his free time in the Great Hall, especially around meal times. The people he was watching didn’t seem to realize the importance of their everyday interactions, but he did. He saw who was surrounded by people all the time, who was respected and listened to, who liked to force their way into groups. He saw who liked to be alone, or in small groups. He learned which people were important, and then saw who was invited to eat with them and who hung around on the outskirts, trying to pretend they had power but never actually getting it. He watched and he learned, and pretty soon he began to understand who was important and who had power, whether or not they had a title. And he felt more at home, at least enough so that he no longer wanted to go back to the Hold. And now, two turns later, he was at another new place. It wasn’t as strange; Ranen already knew a lot more than he had when he had first come to Southern. But it was still a new place, with new people, and so once again he found himself sitting against a wall with a cup of klah and a plate with half a roll on the table in front of him.
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Post by Kristin on Jun 23, 2010 11:16:38 GMT -5
F'ren was in a good mood. He had just had a delightful time with Eneth. The pair had gone to the beach and after they had splashed in the ocean they had enjoyed a nice sunbath together. It was his favorite pastime to tan with Eneth but all good things must end sometime and F'ren hadn't been able to ignore the cries of his stomach anymore. He had regretfully left Eneth, who was fast asleep, and hurried to the kitchens. He had been so hungry that as soon as he got a meat roll he had bitten a large chunk out of it, before he had even begun to think about where he should sit. He nodded to some people he recognized in the Hall but he wanted to sit with someone new. He loved meeting new people and the last time he had eaten with someone he hadn't talked to before, it had turned out wonderfully, resulting in F'ren recruiting help for washing Eneth. The only thing he regretted was that the clutch had arrived shortly after they met so their time together had been cut short.
Well there was nothing big happening today that he knew of and this time the weyrling was determined to make a new friend. He looked around and immediately walked up to the first stranger he saw. F'ren decided that the plain boy who sat alone at the table against the wall looked lonely and it didn't even occur to him that he would object to the bronze weyrling sitting with him. He sat down on the other side of the table and put his cup of klah down and took another large bite of his roll. He just couldn't help himself, he was hungry! Unfortunately it had been a rather big bite and F'ren knew that it would be very unflattering if he tried talking with his mouth full. He chewed and chewed, trying to empty his mouth as fast as possible. The weyrling kept his eyes on his companion and tried apologize for his bad manners with his eyes. Finally he managed to swallow everything and he outstretched his hand to the boy and smiled. "Hello, I'm F'ren and I'm so sorry for the earlier display. I was just so hungry and well, you know how it is?"
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Post by Mello on Jun 23, 2010 22:24:25 GMT -5
Ranen had seen many of the people left in the Hall already, but there were a few new to him, and he watched them as best he could without making his observations obvious. There was one table that was particularly interesting, two of the people sitting there apparently arguing about something, and he was so lost in his thoughts and imaginings about the people sitting there that he didn't even notice the other boy until he sat down across from him.
He wasn't necessarily surprised that someone had joined him. It had happened quite often at Southern, at first. People would see him sitting alone and assume he was lonely. It was just one more way he could get to know the inhabitants of the Weyr and begin to find his own place though so, although he wasn't as lonely as the people who joined him often seemed to imagine he was, he generally enjoyed the encounters.
Upon sitting down, however, the other boy took a large bite of his roll and seemed to spend the next few minutes trying to clear his mouth. Ranen tried to hide a smile at the other boy's predicament.
Finally he swallowed, offered Ranen his hand, and introduced himself as F'ren. Ranen wasn't particularly surprised to learn he was a rider, but it did make meeting him even more valuable. If only he could figure out what he was doing wrong... Ranen knew there wasn't really much he could do. He had heard story after story of how the most likely candidates were sometimes left standing while the ones no one thought had a chance Impressed, and had even seen it himself more than once. But the less rational side of his brain suggested that maybe he could learn something, some way to become acceptable at the next Impression. Like there was some secret that he just didn't know, and if he learned it everything would work out this time.
But that wasn't the time or place for such trains of thoughts. Pushing those thoughts aside and hoping F'ren hadn't noticed his brief lapse of attention, Ranen shook the other boy's hand and gave him a smile. "I'm Ranen. And don't worry. I have four brothers and we used to spend all day working and then come home absolutely starving, so I've seen much worse."
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Post by Kristin on Jun 24, 2010 17:15:46 GMT -5
F‘ren was beginning to think that he‘d offended the boy so much that he didn‘t want to shake F‘ren‘s hand, but then the boy finally took the weyrling‘s offered hand. He even gave him a smile, so F‘ren was pretty sure that he was in the clear. Four brothers? F‘ren didn‘t even have one, that he knew of that is, but it was very likely that he had some half-siblings running around in Southern. F‘ren was intrigued by this boy who actually had a family, a foreign concept to the weyrbred boy.
„Well that‘s good to know but I‘m normally not this crude. I promise!“ His image was very important to F‘ren and he really didn‘t want Ranen to think that F‘ren acted like an underfed drudge all the time. „So, four brothers? No sisters then? You‘re a candidate right? Do you miss your family a lot?“ In F‘ren‘s experience, holdbred candidates often had a difficult time when they first arrived in a Weyr, so it seemed like a reasonable question.
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Post by Mello on Jun 24, 2010 20:30:25 GMT -5
Ranen gave F’ren another smile. He was pretty obviously embarrassed about his actions, but Ranen hadn’t been exaggerating when he had said he had seen worse. He had watched all three of his older brothers go through their teenage years, and had gone through them himself. Working all day made you even hungrier, and then without his mother around to make them behave… Aldzia tried to keep them all in line, but wasn’t always very successful. Ranen just saw it as part of life there, one more aspect of living and working with your whole family all the time.
F’ren seemed almost surprised when he mentioned his brothers, and Ranen couldn’t help but laugh. “Four brothers,” he agreed. “But two sisters, too,” he added. “I was the fifth out of seven.” It was almost strange thinking about his family. People had asked him about them when he first got to Southern, but he hadn’t liked to talk about them much back then. He was still homesick, and talking just seemed to make it even worse. By the time he got over it, people had mostly stopped asking him, having marked him as someone who simply didn’t want to talk about the past.
“Yes, I’m a candidate,” he confirmed. “I… I guess I missed them a lot at first.” Coming to the Weyr had been a shock in many ways, but one of the most startling had been not having his family around. It had been the first time since he was born that he hadn’t been around at least one or two of his family members, and it had taken some time to get used to. “I’ve been a candidate for a while though- I was at Southern for two turns before I came here. I guess I’ve adjusted.” He shrugged slightly and offered half a smile. “Although if I ever do Impress, I want to go back for a visit.” And show them I’m not a failure, he added silently. Someday he would be able to go back and show his dad that his leaving wasn’t because he was chasing hopeless dreams.
“How about you?” he asked, trying not to dwell on his thoughts and the uncertainty of his future. “Was it hard when you were a candidate?”
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Post by Kristin on Jun 26, 2010 12:48:51 GMT -5
F’ren whistled inwardly, he knew that families in Holds were often very large, but the weyrbred young man still thought that seven children was a lot. He winced in sympathy when the candidate told him that he’d been a candidate for two turns. He was all too familiar with the hardships of being a candidate for such a long time. Being a candidate for nearly six years had nearly ruined the weyrling and he was relieved beyond words that that time in his life was over.
F’ren laughed humorlessly at Ranen’s question and forced a smile. It still hurt to think about it. “Was it hard? I was a candidate for six years you know. First four years at Southern, then two at Silver Cove but I finally impressed my Eneth when I came here. Both my parents were riders, and my father a bronze one to the boot, so people expected me to impress. I always felt I was failing them somehow and I thought that I must have been doing something wrong. Or that maybe I was just inadequate and that no dragon would ever want me. But it turns out that I was just waiting for the right one.” He smiled a comforting smile to Ranen. “So I really do understand what you must be going through. Just don’t give up hope. And if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m your man.”
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Post by Mello on Jun 27, 2010 10:02:08 GMT -5
Six turns? Ranen grimaced. He couldn’t imagine being here another four turns, just going through Hatching after Hatching but never being successful. How could F’ren have taken that? Then again, he never would have thought he would still be here after two turns. And if he didn’t Impress, where would he go? No, as dismal as it sounded, he supposed that he could see himself still there in four turns. Although by then he would be 21, the very upper edge of candidacy. He hoped it wouldn’t come to that.
But F’ren had done it- he had been a candidate for turns, and still managed to Impress. And the things he was saying sounded almost like the thoughts that Ranen kept pushing away, because they wouldn’t help, really. That he was doing something wrong, or maybe that he just wasn’t good enough. Thoughts that had grown a little stronger each time he walked off the sands alone. But if F’ren had thought the same thing, it couldn’t be that strange, and he had Impressed too. That must be a good sign.
Ranen didn’t often accept offers of help, especially offers to talk. It just wasn’t something he could have done at home. After his mother died, he had accepted his fate to keep things to himself. But F’ren had been through what he was going through… maybe he wouldn’t judge. Maybe it would be okay. So Ranen nodded almost hesitantly with a slight smile, hoping his nervousness didn’t show too much. “Thanks,” he said. “I’ll have to take you up on that sometime.” Not today- he wasn’t ready for that. But maybe someday he would be ready to talk, and it was comforting knowing there was someone he could track down to do so. It was strange how comfortable he could feel at the Weyr sometimes. Was that a good thing or a bad thing?
He forced himself to perk up and change the topic, not wanting to dwell on things. “So you grew up in the Weyr? What was that like?” He had gone through a phase where he had wished he had been born to Riders. Although he had since decided he liked growing up with his family too much to really wish he had had something different, the children of the Weyr still drew his attention.
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Post by Kristin on Jun 29, 2010 8:38:36 GMT -5
F‘ren nodded in understanding at the candidate, it was understandable that he didn‘t want to talk now. After all they‘d just met. F‘ren was a little surprised at himself for having offered advice. He normally wasn‘t the person people went to when they needed to talk and he wasn‘t that good at giving advice. But this was a special case, F‘ren had been in nearly the exact same position before so he should be able to help.
The weyrling was happy when Ranen changed the topic to a happier note. He was the cheerful type and didn‘t like long serious conversations much. "Growing up in the Weyr? Honestly I don‘t know how life is outside the Weyr so I can‘t compare. But for example, I‘m your typical weyrbrat. Born from a greenflight, raised by a kitchen worker. I‘ve never had a real family like you have." He supposed that would seem sad to some people, but F‘ren spoke of it in a matter of fact way. He had gone trough a brief phase when he was little when he wished that his parents were together and that he lived with them. Then he had wised up and realized that having no parents meant more freedom and more fun.
"Also, judging by some of the holdbred people I‘ve met, weyrbred people have more fun. The freedom in the Weyrs is awesome don‘t you think?" He grinned lewdly at Ranen, hoping the candidate would understand him. "Not to mention, have you noticed that people in Weyrs are generally better looking than holdpeople?" He nodded his head towards a pretty young woman on a nearby table, an old conquest of his. "Or are you perhaps more interested in flat chests and muscles?" He wondered how the candidate would respond to this topic. You never knew with those holdbred ones, even if they had lived in a Weyr for a while.
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Post by Mello on Jul 1, 2010 9:31:38 GMT -5
Ranen wondered what his own life might have been like if he had grown up like F’ren, a “typical weyrbrat”. He wouldn’t have had his brothers there, so he wouldn’t have had the long period of teasing, or the situations he was always afraid would somehow turn more violent than they had initially intended. He wouldn’t have had his father always trying to get him to work just a little harder, to finish some task before the end of the day. But then again, he wouldn’t have had his mother to tell him stories and make him dream. And, as much as they made his life miserable for a while, he loved his brothers, and he always knew he could go to them if he was really in trouble. There were really, in his mind, more positives than negatives to growing up where he did- he learned about family, learned to be strong and useful. But F’ren didn’t seem the slightest bit sad at his own upbringing. Ranen hadn’t really met a weyrbrat who did, actually, so he supposed it was just a matter of perspective anyways.
There were some big differences between the holdbred and the weyrbred, though, as Ranen was reminded when F’ren brought up the ‘freedom’ of the Weyrs. The other boy seemed perfectly at ease, pointing out a pretty young woman nearby, and even asking him about his own preferences in the easy going way that Ranen hadn’t quite yet adjusted to, even after two turns. He felt himself blushing slightly, in spite of himself. “Me? I…”
That was a good question, actually. Growing up he had never even realized there were men who didn’t chase after women all the time. His brothers certainly did, or at least talked about doing it. His oldest brother was even seeing this girl from another nearby hold, and had brought her by sometimes. She was nice, and pretty, and they were probably married by now. That was what he had grown up with. And then he came to the Weyr, and realized that that wasn’t exactly the way everyone thought. He didn’t have a problem with it (like, if he was honest, some of his family might), but he had never thought about it for himself. Until that flight, about a turn after he had gotten to the Weyr, when, caught up in the emotions in the air, he had found himself more than a little interested in a fellow male candidate. He was still trying to sort out his own mind.
“I guess you could say both?” he finally finished, managing to turn the statement into a kind of question. F’ren pretty clearly preferred women, but Ranen didn’t think the admission would bring scorn. It was one benefit of growing up in the Weyr- they seemed more tolerant about those kinds of things. After a pause, he laughed at his own discomfort. “It does take a lot of adjusting to get comfortable with some aspects of life here,” he admitted. “Even after two turns.”
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Post by Kristin on Jul 5, 2010 10:15:53 GMT -5
F‘ren laughed lightly when he saw Ranen blushing at his question. It seemed the candidate hadn‘t managed to get rid of holdbred prudishness yet. When Ranen finally managed to admit that he was bisexual, F’ren grinned. “Wow. I’m jealous you know. I’ve always wanted to enjoy women and men equally. Think of all the possibilities!” He shook his head grinning and thought of all the possibilities. If he’d get bored of one gender, he could just move on to the other one for a while. He could also like everyone, no matter the gender, and that would mean twice as many people to choose from. He studied Ranen intently, the candidate wasn’t so bad looking and he could see the appeal in being with someone of the same gender but he had to admit that the smooth curves of women excited him far more.
“I can only imagine, I don’t think that I would ever have been able to adjust to hold life.” F’ren shuddered to even think of being doomed to live a boring and repetitive life in a hold. He suddenly remembered that he had been dying of hunger only a few minutes ago and looked down at his nearly untouched roll. He took a few bites and swallowed them with some klah before turning his attention back to Ranen.
“So what’s it like? Being with a guy I mean. Is it very different from a girl?” F’ren couldn’t help but try to satisfy his curiosity. It had been a longtime fantasy of his to experiment with a guy, but to be honest F’ren wasn’t nearly ready for that yet. But it didn’t hurt to do some research. It didn’t even occur to him that Ranen could be a virgin. F’ren thought that the candidate was about the same age as him and being in a Weyr for two years probably meant that he had had numerous bed partners. After all, F’ren couldn’t imagine not taking advantage of Weyr freedom after being cooped up so long in a hold.
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Post by Mello on Jul 6, 2010 10:58:16 GMT -5
Even after all his time there, the Weyr never ceased to surprise Ranen in little ways, such as his companion’s easy acceptance of his rather drawn out explanation of his preferences. It was a bit of an adjustment, but part of Ranen was realizing that the Weyrs were much more accepting of some things than other places on Pern. Perhaps because the dragons chose who they wanted, and no one could argue with a dragon’s choice. “I suppose…” he agreed with the other boy’s enthusiastic acceptance, although he still was uncertain. His preferences had never seemed to be exactly a good thing, to tell the truth. One more thing his brothers would tease him about, if they knew. One more hidden secret. If he listened to his brothers, one more thing making him weak, although he was starting to wonder if it was really that worth it to follow their ideas. After all it was he, the dreamer, that had ended up at the Weyr, even if he was still a candidate afer two turns.
F’ren didn’t seem to have a particularly positive view of hold life, something that Ranen couldn’t really fault him for. If he had been raised here, he doubted he would want to live on a hold either. There was something fulfilling about life there, but at the same time his new life was so exciting. It would be hard to give that up now, and he could only imagine what it would be like if the Weyr had been all he had known. He laughed. “It’s not that bad,” he said with a smile. “A lot of work, I guess, but it’s not bad.” He tried to imagine F’ren working with his brothers, but he couldn’t. Actually, he couldn’t place any of the people he had met here back in his home. “I think it would be harder to go from here to a hold then from a hold to here though,” he observed after a moment.
He was feeling more comfortable with the whole conversation, but then F’ren turned back towards the previous topic and once again managed to make Ranen blush. There seemed to be no doubt in the weyrling’s mind that Ranen had experience with those kinds of things. But he had first noticed his attraction to a few of the other male candidates only a short time before, really, and had yet to work up the courage to actually approach one. How could he tell what they would say, which ones would accept him and which ones would hang onto the values taught at the holds? Even the few he felt confident shared his tastes scared him in some way. The few encounters he had had since he had been at the Weyr had been with girls, and those had been rather limited, as the girls didn’t want to get pregnant. So then, how to answer F’ren’s question? He didn’t want to admit his lack of experience, but he didn’t want to claim experience when he had none… Fighting a stammer, he finally managed to give some kind of response. “It’s… I don’t really know.” Not exactly what he hoped would come out of his mouth, but there it was.
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Post by Kristin on Jul 7, 2010 10:19:42 GMT -5
To say that F‘ren was surprised was an understatement. But he quickly recovered, he guessed it was normal for a hold bred person to be hesitant about his sexuality. He‘d seen it before, bisexual or homosexual people that came from holds either didn‘t waste any time in exploring new possibilities when arriving in the Weyr or their upbringing stifled them and they were too afraid. Ranen belonged to second group it seemed. Well, it was slightly disappointing and F‘ren would just have to ask someone else. It was not like there was any shortage of people to ask in the Weyr.
Ranen seemed embarrassed by his admission, and F‘ren couldn‘t really blame him to be honest, but he didn’t want his new friend to feel too[/] uncomfortable and he guessed he had pushed Ranen enough for one day. “Oh well, that’s a shards shame but I guess you can’t help it, my blushing friend.” His voice was teasing, but gentle, to let Ranen know that he didn’t think less of him. Much that is. But the candidate wasn’t getting off the hook so easily and the weyrling was already racking his brain for boys to introduce to Ranen, a calculating look on his face. It was F’ren’s new goal in life to rescue Ranen from his blushing virgin status.
Well, a change of subject was in order. Now what could he talk about that was safe and didn’t make Ranen blush? Dragons was a pretty safe subject, and always interesting. Dragons it was. “So, any special color wish? And don’t say you don’t mind what color. That’s boring.” He grinned to let Ranen know he was kidding and at the same time felt a stirring at the edge of his consciousness, it seemed that Eneth would wake up soon.
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Post by Mello on Jul 8, 2010 20:50:12 GMT -5
Ranen was immensely relieved when F’ren seemed to drop the subject of his relationships, or lack thereof. He could put up with a bit of teasing- he had heard worse before, especially from his brothers, so it rarely bothered him, especially when it was delivered in such a tone that he could tell it wasn’t intended to hurt. There was nothing wrong with joking around, and if it lead to a change of subject, Ranen was all for it. Part of his mind might have registered that he was getting off a little too easily, that maybe this wasn’t the end of the topic in F’ren’s mind, but if it passed through his head he quickly pushed it aside and dismissed it.
F’ren turned the conversation to a topic much more in Ranen’s interest- the Hatching. It was coming closer every day, and seemed to be all that was on his mind sometimes. All that was on a lot of people’s minds, actually. There were constant little reminders for those who paid attention that this Hatching was important for more than just the candidates. It was the first step for the new Weyr, and so it was more important than a personal hope, as grand as that may be.
“I would be happy with anything, boring or not,” he began, a grin returning to his face. Talk of the upcoming Hatching always managed to bring out his best mood. No matter what, it was a happy time, and he couldn’t wait for it to happen. “But I’ve always kind of seen myself on a brown, or a blue,” he finished, looking down to fiddle absently with his cup, shifting it around on the table. He hadn’t actually thought of it too much, mostly because he had discovered he was pretty terrible at deciding what candidate would end up with what color dragon, or even which ones would Impress and which ones would be left standing. But even those who were talented at predicting what would happen were never right all the time.
Suddenly a thought hit him like a shock. He could feel the grin fall off his face and it was all he could do to stop himself from burying his head in his hands. “Shards, I can be so stupid sometimes,” he said. “All this talk and I never even asked after your dragon…” He always managed to forget something, although generally it wasn’t this big. He didn’t even know the name of F’ren’s dragon, nor his color. And forgetting to ask about him… Ranen could kick himself.
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Post by Kristin on Jul 10, 2010 18:04:58 GMT -5
F‘ren was alarmed when his cheerful, occasionally blushing, companion stopped grinning and looked like he could hit himself. Before the weyrling could ask what was wrong however, Ranen cleared it up. Well he was relieved that that was all it was, he had been beginning to think that there was something wrong. He really wasn‘t offended that Ranen hadn‘t asked about Eneth before but it was nice that he was asking about his dragon now. After all every rider loved talking about his dragon, especially weyrlings, and F‘ren was no exception, beaming with pride and love as he talked about Eneth. "That‘s all right really. His name is Eneth and he‘s the loveliest bronze in the Weyr. Granted he‘s not that big for a bronze but he‘s much more agile than those big, dull bronzes.“ F‘ren couldn‘t help emphasizing when he said bronze, it was a fact as far as F‘ren was concerned that bronzes were simply the best color. Not counting the golds of course. "He sleeps alot but occasionally decides to grace my mind with his presence. In fact I think he‘s waking up now!“
Eneth was indeed waking up and F‘ren grinned again when his mind connected with the now awake bronze. Well you‘re finally awake He greeted Eneth warmly. Yes Mine. Who is the dragonless one that you are talking to? Does he have a firelizard? Of course it was most important to his dragon if Ranen had one of those pesky little creatures. F‘ren answered Eneth aloud. "His name is Ranen and he‘s a candidate. Eneth asks if you have a firelizard? Eneth would prefer if you didn't. He doesn't like those lovely little creatures." F'ren sighed. It would certainly be easier if Ranen didn't have a firelizard because his dragon tended to dislike and mistrust people who had bonded with a firelizard and F'ren really did not want Eneth to try to drive Ranen away just when he was getting to know him.
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Post by Mello on Jul 10, 2010 21:54:42 GMT -5
Ranen was relieved when F’ren didn’t seem offended he hadn’t thought to ask about his dragon earlier. He could see the pride in his companion’s face when he started talking about Eneth. It was something he had seen in many riders’ faces, especially the younger ones. He wondered if they had any idea of their expressions, or if it was just an instinctive reaction to thoughts about the bonded ones. F’ren seemed especially proud of the fact that Eneth was a bronze- another thing Ranen had noticed in many riders. They all seemed very sure that their color of their dragon was the best, no matter what. He remembered his own uncertainty of what type might chose him some day, and couldn’t help but smile. There was no doubt in his mind he would be just as confident as F’ren of the best color, if he ever did Impress. When, he told himself firmly. Not if. That type of thinking wouldn’t get him anywhere.
He guessed that F’ren was having a conversation with Eneth when he got that slightly distracted look generally associated with riders talking with their dragons. And then F’ren answered aloud, introducing Ranen to Eneth. He smiled. “No, you can assure him that I don’t,” he said with a small laugh. Not that he hadn’t tried, especially at Southern, where it seemed every other person had one of the little creatures. But he never seemed to have much time to search for nests, and had never been very adept at it anyways. It seemed as though it would be a good thing in this situation, though. “Is there a reason he doesn’t like them, or do they just bother him in general?” he asked F’ren curiously. He knew of some dragons who didn’t mind them, but some just didn’t seem to like them for some reason.
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