Post by Mango on Jan 9, 2011 15:16:35 GMT -5
Advice is welcome, though, of course. I'm pretty sure a few of you are older than me, so I thought maybe you have some older-person wisdom, haha.
Well, as you guys may know, I recently went through a break up with my long-time boyfriend (two years, and it happened about two months ago I would say). He broke up with me. I was devastated, but this sort of thing had kind of happened a couple of times before (we'd go on "breaks" then get back together) and I have great friends, so I managed to start feeling better really quickly. At first, I would have probably gotten back together with him if he'd asked, despite my friends telling me not to. But, I quickly realized that being single was kind of freeing and he had been so much work to keep up with/make happy. I did a lot better in school, I started hanging out with new people and doing new sort of things and making more plans. I was just kind of happier.
However, he soon decided that he wanted to get back together. He'd invite me over to talk/watch a movie in a group and I'd find something like a romantic setting with wine and candles (he wasn't very romantic during our relationship) or it'd somehow end up with just us. I allowed it to go on for a little while because it was nice at first. But it quickly seemed to escalate and I quickly became more content and secure being on my own with no boyfriend.
I came home for break hoping that the break would give him time to get over me, so I tried talking to him as little as possible. This did not stop him from calling me and he was always upset because I didn't seem enthusiastic. I just didn't feel like I could tell him I couldn't see us getting back together because I knew he'd be upset. He kept telling me he was trying to change and be a better boyfriend to me. He said he was quit smoking, he was working out, he was getting new clothes and a new hair cut. He tried dancing with me at a party that I was at that he showed up to (I was always sad because I love to dance and he never did). He even wrote me a very beautiful song for a Christmas present.
It all came to craziness when I went back to school to be in my housemate's Rock Horror group the other night. He was there and kept touching me or calling me over to talk all night. Even during the show when I was trying to get ready/change he'd want to grab my hand or kiss me, even though I told him no. Before the show, I even told him I didn't see us getting back together. I told him finally that I was actually kind of happy being single so I could focus on everything I wanted to focus on. He did not take it well.
At the after party, he came and continued his touching/sadness/whatever, but even worse as he was drinking a lot. He even gave me the finger and called me a whore (sorry if that's not pg-13.....I can change it...) a few times "in jest". Finally, he trapped me into another argument once I came out of my bathroom. Since the bathroom door was open, the noise of the argument reached my sleeping housemate (she was fine with a party, but not with someone yelling at me outside her door). She ended up kicking him out of the house. He is still banned from entering my house for a while. Until he is settled pretty much.
I decided that we shouldn't talk because it was hurting him. One of my housemates who knows him pretty well answered the phone for me while I was there to tell him not to call me. But once I left, he still called. I called him back once only to tell him from my own mouth that we shouldn't contact or see each other for a while and assured him that he'd get over me and find someone even better. He, of course, thinks that means that I hate him. I couldn't convince him otherwise, so I told him that it wasn't true, but if he wouldn't listen, there was nothing more I could do. He hung up, but texted and called me several times after that, which I ignored. One text, though, said that he felt like dying.
He's had depression/been on medication for a while and after his last girlfriend cheated on him and broke up with him, he swallowed a lot of pills and ha to get his stomach pumped. I am just so scared he's goign to hurt himself. He doesn't have too many good friends because he has a tendency to not let things go (Hmm,,,,,) and can be annoying to some people. You don't think he'll really hurt himself, do you? I'm just so scared, but I don't know what I can do.
Well, as you guys may know, I recently went through a break up with my long-time boyfriend (two years, and it happened about two months ago I would say). He broke up with me. I was devastated, but this sort of thing had kind of happened a couple of times before (we'd go on "breaks" then get back together) and I have great friends, so I managed to start feeling better really quickly. At first, I would have probably gotten back together with him if he'd asked, despite my friends telling me not to. But, I quickly realized that being single was kind of freeing and he had been so much work to keep up with/make happy. I did a lot better in school, I started hanging out with new people and doing new sort of things and making more plans. I was just kind of happier.
However, he soon decided that he wanted to get back together. He'd invite me over to talk/watch a movie in a group and I'd find something like a romantic setting with wine and candles (he wasn't very romantic during our relationship) or it'd somehow end up with just us. I allowed it to go on for a little while because it was nice at first. But it quickly seemed to escalate and I quickly became more content and secure being on my own with no boyfriend.
I came home for break hoping that the break would give him time to get over me, so I tried talking to him as little as possible. This did not stop him from calling me and he was always upset because I didn't seem enthusiastic. I just didn't feel like I could tell him I couldn't see us getting back together because I knew he'd be upset. He kept telling me he was trying to change and be a better boyfriend to me. He said he was quit smoking, he was working out, he was getting new clothes and a new hair cut. He tried dancing with me at a party that I was at that he showed up to (I was always sad because I love to dance and he never did). He even wrote me a very beautiful song for a Christmas present.
It all came to craziness when I went back to school to be in my housemate's Rock Horror group the other night. He was there and kept touching me or calling me over to talk all night. Even during the show when I was trying to get ready/change he'd want to grab my hand or kiss me, even though I told him no. Before the show, I even told him I didn't see us getting back together. I told him finally that I was actually kind of happy being single so I could focus on everything I wanted to focus on. He did not take it well.
At the after party, he came and continued his touching/sadness/whatever, but even worse as he was drinking a lot. He even gave me the finger and called me a whore (sorry if that's not pg-13.....I can change it...) a few times "in jest". Finally, he trapped me into another argument once I came out of my bathroom. Since the bathroom door was open, the noise of the argument reached my sleeping housemate (she was fine with a party, but not with someone yelling at me outside her door). She ended up kicking him out of the house. He is still banned from entering my house for a while. Until he is settled pretty much.
I decided that we shouldn't talk because it was hurting him. One of my housemates who knows him pretty well answered the phone for me while I was there to tell him not to call me. But once I left, he still called. I called him back once only to tell him from my own mouth that we shouldn't contact or see each other for a while and assured him that he'd get over me and find someone even better. He, of course, thinks that means that I hate him. I couldn't convince him otherwise, so I told him that it wasn't true, but if he wouldn't listen, there was nothing more I could do. He hung up, but texted and called me several times after that, which I ignored. One text, though, said that he felt like dying.
He's had depression/been on medication for a while and after his last girlfriend cheated on him and broke up with him, he swallowed a lot of pills and ha to get his stomach pumped. I am just so scared he's goign to hurt himself. He doesn't have too many good friends because he has a tendency to not let things go (Hmm,,,,,) and can be annoying to some people. You don't think he'll really hurt himself, do you? I'm just so scared, but I don't know what I can do.
